Troian Bellisario Opens Up About Self Harming

January 6, 2014 • By

Troian Bellisario Seventeen Magazine

Pretty Little Liars” actress Troian Bellisario opened up to Seventeen Magazine about her own self harming. You can read her story in the February 2014 issue of the magazine. Here are some of the quotes:

I was the youngest daughter, the perfect little girl. My school was a very intense college prep school. So it was about wanting to please my father and mother and wanting to be perfect to everybody. I just thought if I ever expressed to [my parents] any sadness or anger or anything that’s going on with me, they would disown me. I kept a lot of it bottled up inside, and it turned into self-destructive behavior.

I would withhold food or withhold going out with my friends, based on how well I did that day in school. Being a teenager is chaotic because you’re kind of coming into your own, but you’re not an adult; you’re fighting with your parents over responsibilities and freedom. I didn’t know what was right and what was wrong, so I think I created this bizarre system of checks and balances to create order in my world. But it really backfired.

I felt this sadness, and I thought if people really knew what was going on inside me, they wouldn’t want to hang out with me. So I tried to keep it light and funny. [My friends] got a hold of my journal and basically said, ‘We don’t trust you, and we’re gonna tell your parents.’ That was when my world kind of exploded. It was kind of like an intervention. It made me ask myself, ‘What do I really want to be doing? What would make me happy?’

Honestly, it’s an ongoing struggle. Especially for a woman on a show that has the word ‘pretty’ in it! Sometimes I feel like I’m trying too hard, like I don’t belong. I just look around at Lucy, Shay and Ashley and I’m just like, ‘Why am I on this show?’ Sometimes I’ve felt like a fraud. Like, I’m not like these other girls—I don’t dress like that and I don’t know how to do my hair. The minute I’m off that stage, I try to get as ‘me’ as possible. I do that by piling on my black eyeliner, and I put on my ripped tights. Dressing like myself again helps.

Fans have been sending Troian very supportive messages on social networking sites since the quotes hit the web. We think it’s amazing that Troian has opened up as a way to help any of her fans going through similar situations! What a role model!

Here’s a note from Shay Mitchell about Troian’s interview:

So proud of my friend/ costar/ older sister @sleepinthegardn ‘s @seventeenmag cover and inspiring story. You are brave, intelligent and beyond talented. I am so excited to be seeing your face on newsstands everywhere!